Avoiding a Head-on Collision with Japanese Culture

Several years ago, while taking a curve too sharply on a Japanese mountain road, I nearly caused a head-on collision. As my wife screamed, I swerved back into my lane, but not before our cars’ front fenders scraped. What happened next taught me an important lesson about Japanese culture.

I pulled off the road, knowing it was clearly my fault. Yet, I was nervous about how this interaction would go down. The first thing my wife said to me as we got out of the car was, “Be sure to apologize.“

I was hesitant because, in America, I knew that an apology meant I was admitting fault. I wanted to avoid admitting fault for the accident because I was worried about the increase in insurance rates.

Despite my worries, we got out of the car to talk to the other driver, make sure he was OK, assess the damage, and exchange contact information for insurance claims.

This close call taught me more than just careful driving – it revealed how differently Japanese culture approaches everyday interactions. Whether you’re planning to drive in Japan or not, understanding these seven cultural habits will transform your travel experience.

1. The Culture of Cleanliness: Whenever I walk and travel around Tokyo, I can never find any public trash cans. Japan’s immaculate public spaces – from airports to train stations to parks – often shock first-time visitors, especially given the scarcity of public trash cans.

• Traveler Tip: Be mindful of your own waste and dispose of it properly. Public trash cans are scarce, so consider carrying a small bag so you can carry your trash with you.

2. Consideration for Others: Before going to Japan, I thought I was a considerate person, but Japanese culture takes consideration to a whole new level. Japanese society highly values the comfort and well-being of others. This is evident in how people interact in public, with a remarkable absence of public outbursts or frustration. The concept of “気を遣う” (being considerate of others), “人の目を気にする” (caring about what others think) influences many aspects of daily life, promoting a harmonious environment.

• Traveler Tip: Be mindful of how loud you are on trains and other public spaces. Avoid loud phone conversations and try to keep your personal belongings neatly arranged to avoid inconveniencing others.

3. The Public Face (“建前”): The concept of “face” is deeply woven into Japanese culture. The way people present themselves in public (“建前”) is often different from their private selves (“本音”). This isn’t about being dishonest, but rather a way to maintain social harmony and avoid causing embarrassment or discomfort.

• Traveler Tip: Be aware that people might not express their true opinions or feelings directly, especially when interacting with a foreigner. Pay attention to non-verbal cues and approach interactions with a level of sensitivity.

4. Indirect Communication: To my Western mindset, this indirect approach sometimes feels like indecisiveness. Rather than being direct, Japanese communication often relies on subtlety and reading between the lines. Instead of making demands, people tend to wait for the other party to express their preferences. This is out of consideration for others and to avoid imposing their needs.

• Traveler Tip: Be patient and observant in conversations. Try to be attentive to non-verbal cues, and avoid asking questions that might put someone on the spot or cause them discomfort. Be flexible, knowing that things might not happen exactly as you expect.

5. Quiet Respect: Growing up in the South, my mother taught me to be friendly and speak to others, even strangers. However, you’ll notice that Japanese people generally maintain a quiet demeanor in public places. This is a sign of respect and consideration for those around them. It’s particularly noticeable on trains and buses where it is often incredibly quiet.

• Traveler Tip: Don’t make conversation with everyone. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. You’ll find Japanese people are usually very helpful. However, talking to every random person you meet will make you stand out in an odd way.

6. Orderly Queuing: From waiting for a train to lining up for a popular restaurant, Japanese people excel at forming orderly queues. This is another example of respecting others’ space and time. It’s also how I know when I’ve found a good ramen shop!

• Traveler Tip: When waiting in a line, follow the lead of those around you and maintain an orderly position. Avoid cutting in line and be patient.

7. The Art of Apology: In Japan, apologies are common, and are not always an admission of fault. They are used to express empathy and show care for the other party. You may hear apologies when someone bumps into you, even slightly, or when they want to draw your attention to something.

• Traveler Tip: Don’t be alarmed by frequent apologies. Respond with a polite nod or acknowledgment, and don’t be afraid to say “sumimasen” yourself in situations where you might have inconvenienced someone.

When I think back to the head-on collision I almost had, I’m glad that I apologized. It was a good choice not taking a defensive approach. I’m also glad I lived to tell this story.

After we talked and shared our contact information, he said he would be in touch.

Within 30 minutes, we received a call from him. He shared with us that he had consulted with his company and since he was driving an older company car, they had said the damage was too small to worry about contacting our insurance companies.

This experience taught me that embracing Japanese cultural practices – like the art of apology and consideration for others – often leads to more positive outcomes than sticking rigidly to our own cultural habits. Years later, I still carry these lessons with me on every trip to Japan.

If you’re planning your own journey to Japan, remember that the real adventure isn’t just in the places you’ll visit, but in the cultural experiences you’ll encounter. Take time to observe these subtle cultural dynamics. You might find, as I did, that they transform not just your travel experience, but also your perspective on how we can better interact with each other, regardless of where we are in the world.

Have you experienced similar cultural revelations in your travels? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments below.