When I get embarrassed, my face turns red. It can feel like the red faces of those snow monkeys I wrote about a couple posts ago. Their faces were not red from embarrassment, though. They were connected with each other and were enjoying the hot springs. When I travel, I want to connect more deeply, without embarrassment.
Japan is an amazing place to visit! So, if you’re planning a trip to Japan this year, you’re in for a treat – the food, the temples, the landscapes… it’s all truly incredible. But beyond the picture-perfect scenes, there’s a fascinating cultural dynamic at play that can really impact your experience: Japan’s strong group orientation.
Now, I’m not talking about massive tour groups. I’m talking about a mindset, a deep-seated cultural value that shapes how people interact, how they behave in public, and yes, even how they perceive you as a traveler. I lived in Japan for around eleven years and still spend time there as much as possible, and it’s something I’ve both observed and navigated myself. Let me share some of my insights with you, including some unexpected nuances for avoiding embarrassment!
The "Gaijin" Perspective
Language has a way of revealing cultural boundaries, and I learned this lesson unexpectedly during an afternoon with Japanese friends in Los Angeles. As we chatted, they casually referred to me as “gaijin” – a term that literally means “outside person” or foreigner. The irony wasn’t lost on me: here I was, an American on home turf, being labeled the outsider by my Japanese friends who were actually the visitors.
This moment was more than just a linguistic quirk. It was a window into how deeply the concept of “in-group” and “out-group” is woven into Japanese cultural thinking. The term “gaijin” isn’t just a neutral description – it’s a subtle reminder of cultural boundaries, of who belongs and who doesn’t.
This experience became a crucial lens for understanding a common misconception many first-time visitors to Japan encounter. You see, the Japanese are renowned for their incredible politeness. The service is impeccable, interactions are smooth, and it’s easy to feel welcomed. But beneath this welcoming surface lies a more complex social landscape. Recognizing this landscape requires a level of “common sense.”
Lost in Translation: My "Common Sense" Moment
I quickly learned that these “common sense” expectations extend to a lot of places. One example I mentioned in the last post is how you’re supposed to behave on trains. As an American, I might be used to chatting and laughing with my friends on the train, but in Japan, there’s an expectation to be quiet and calm. Not following that expectation might lead to side glances or judgment, even though no one is going to directly confront you. This can be a hard adjustment, and it often takes some time to realize what’s going on.
Generational Shifts: A Note of Nuance
Now, here’s where it gets interesting. Japanese society is not static; it’s evolving. While the core of Japanese group culture remains, you’ll find some differences, especially between the older and younger generations. Younger Japanese people tend to be a bit more individualistic, more open to international ideas, and generally more comfortable expressing themselves in different ways. This can impact your experience in a few ways:
- More Casual Interactions: There is some degree of individualism recently in Japan that emphasizes personal expression, career goals, and independent choices. You might find that interactions with younger Japanese people feel slightly less formal, and they might be more open to casual conversations.
- Increased English Proficiency: When comparing generations within Japan, younger generations tend to have a higher level of English proficiency, which could ease communication.
- Shifting Work Culture: Lifetime employment and seniority systems that were the norm for prior generations are becoming less common. The younger generation has started to focus more on skills, merit, and work-life balance. This shift can influence how they interact with people, especially tourists.
- Diverse Perspectives: The younger generation is questioning many traditional social norms around marriage, gender equality, mental health, and personal well-being. This evolution is certainly connected to a greater global awareness.
However, don’t misinterpret these shifts. Japan is still a collectivist society. The principles of respect and harmony remain incredibly important. These generational differences don’t mean that you can disregard the basic social norms.
So What Does This Mean for Your Trip
Well, it means being aware and open to learning. You don’t need to become Japanese to have a good time, but you can certainly benefit from understanding a few key points. Here’s some advice I’ve learned:
- Observe and Emulate: When in doubt, watch how the locals behave. Notice how people queue, how they interact in restaurants, and how they use public transportation. Trying to blend in is a sign of respect and will also help you feel more comfortable.
- “Read the Air” (空気を読む – kūki wo yomu): This was so hard for me in the beginning, and still is at times, but this discernment is helpful. Pay attention to the atmosphere around you. If things are quiet, be quiet. If people are waiting patiently, be patient, too. Tuning into non-verbal cues can make a big difference.
- Prioritize Harmony: In Japan, it’s more important to fit in than it is to stand out. While individual expression is valued, public spaces are about harmony and group cohesion. Avoid being loud, disruptive, or drawing unnecessary attention to yourself.
- Accept the “Customer” Role: Japan is great at hospitality. You’ll likely be treated very well, and that’s wonderful. Simply understand that this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being fully incorporated into the culture, but rather, you’re being treated as a valued customer.
- Be Patient and Curious: This might be the most important piece of advice. Don’t get frustrated if you don’t immediately “get” something. There’s no need to feel embarrassed. Instead, see it as a chance to learn and discover.
The Big Picture
By keeping these tips in mind, you’ll not only navigate Japan’s group culture but also unlock deeper connections with its people. It matters because Japan is a land of fascinating contrasts – ancient traditions meeting futuristic innovation, the warmth of human kindness contrasted with the importance of group harmony. By understanding some of the cultural nuances related to Japan’s group orientation, you’ll be better equipped to have more meaningful and positive travel experiences.
Sing with me?
“Is what I’m saying, thinking, and doing, building trust or undermining trust?”
I learned the quote above during my first year in Japan. It has helped me immensely. It even became a jingle in my mind that I would often sing to myself when I wasn’t sure what was happening around me.
By taking the time and setting my intention to build trust, I have slowly gained more and more insight into how to live with “common sense” in Japan.
It has helped me become less of a “gaijin.”
It has helped my travel experiences become richer and more meaningful.
And I’m convinced that it can help your travel experiences in Japan go better.
So, if you want to sing this jingle together with me, let’s sing!